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The Inbetweeners

May 31, 2018

Teenage friends Will McKenzie, Simon Cooper, Jay Cartwright, and Neil Sutherland have finished their A-levels and are about to leave Rudge Park Comprehensive, much to the relief of Mr. Gilbert, their sardonic head of sixth form. Within their final week of school, Jay’s grandfather dies; Simon is dumped by his girlfriend Carli D’Amato; Neil has a job as a fishmonger in a supermarket and Will’s estranged father tells him that he has married his much younger mistress (who was responsible for Will’s parents’ divorce and is only four years older than Will). The boys decide to go on holiday together and Neil books them a holiday to Malia, Crete.

The boys arrive in Crete and are disappointed by their shabby hotel. There, they meet Richard, a strange man who travelled to Malia alone. The boys reach the main strip and are amazed. They meet an attractive promoter who tricks them into visiting a quiet, unpopular bar. As they are about to leave, they meet four girls: Alison, Lucy, Lisa, and Jane. They dance in comical fashion until Will asks if they can join them. Will mocks Alison’s Greek waiter boyfriend until he realises she isn’t joking; Simon complains to Lucy about Carli leaving him and Neil and Lisa sit in silence before he goes off with an unattractive, middle aged Northern woman. Jay and Jane seem to get on but he tells her he already has a girl waiting outside for him (the one who duped them into going into the bar). Their initial meeting does not go smoothly, but the girls arrange to meet the boys at their hotel the next day. Outside the bar, Jay gets into an argument with the promoter after he tries to seduce her and Simon sees Carli across the street and talks awkwardly with her before being knocked down by a quad-bike driven by James, a cocky and arrogant club rep and Carli’s new love interest. She reveals that she is going to an all-day boat party later in the week, and Simon promises to meet her there.

The next day, Will and Simon awaken to the noise of Neil having getting oral sex from the middle aged woman and find Jay had fallen asleep outside in an ant hill. The boys meet the girls at their hotel, only to be asked to leave after Will gets into an argument with the family of a disabled girl (as Jay had thrown their towels off of vacant sunbeds and into the pool), causing him to go into one of his rants and Jay throws a Greek child who can’t swim into the pool. Jay and Simon get into an argument over Simon’s continuing obsession with Carli and Jay’s continual false bravado and they brawl in the street, embarrassingly until Will and Neil separate the pair. Desperate to buy a ticket for the boat party to try to reconcile with Carli, Simon naively sells all of his clothes to James, including the clothes that he is wearing, but receives no payment for it after waiting hours for him to “return”. Meanwhile, Jay angrily tears up two of the four boat party tickets that he secretly bought for all of them the previous night as a surprise. Jay and Neil then go to a club where they see a man on stage performing autofellatio. They then encounter James and his friends and try to break the ice and befriend them, but James brushes them away and verbally abuses the pair and threatens to hurt Jay if they don’t leave. Later that evening, the four boys meet back at the empty bar and make up. Simon borrows clothing from the others for the rest of the trip. The girls then turn up and suggest that they all go skinny dipping at the local beach. Jane attempts to kiss Jay, but when two men poke fun at her over her weight and Jay pulls away embarrassed, she leaves him behind. Will has better luck with Alison until she spots her boyfriend, Nicos, having sex with another woman, and she leaves distraught by what she’s witnessed. In the sea, Lucy and Simon appear to be growing closer, and are about to kiss, but Simon sees Carli on the beach and leaves Lucy alone in the sea, angering her. The boys, feeling down, decide to go out and get drunk.

The following day, Will is hungover and the group meet the girls again at the beach. Alison gives Will Nicos’ ticket, while Simon apologises to Lucy, and she offers him her boat party ticket so that he can be with Carli. On board, Simon witnesses an argument between Carli and James. Carli then kisses Simon passionately, and he is elated, until he realises that she is just using him to make James jealous. Finally seeing Carli for her true colours, he ditches her. Meanwhile, Jay apologises to Jane and they start a relationship as do Will and Alison, and Neil and Lisa. Later Jay and Jane encounter James who mocks Jane’s weight and demands a €20 note from Jay so that he can snort cocaine. Jay gets revenge on him by taking a note that was secretly concealed in his anus for bribing “corrupt foreign police”, and gives it to James. James then snorts cocaine unknowingly walking around with faeces suck to the end of his nose causing the girls whom he flirts with to walk away from him in disgust, much to his confusion. Lisa and Neil dryhump on the boatdeck but Lisa feels bad about Neil’s girlfriend till he lies and tells her she dumped him before the holiday and that he was embarrassed to tell the others. Simon finally sees that Lucy is more worthy of his attention than Carli, and knowing that he has been less than kind to her, he decides to swim back to shore as a romantic gesture, but he struggles and nearly drowns. As he is loaded into an air ambulance and taken back to the beach, Lucy kisses him and they reconcile. After the boat party is finished, the other boys and girls visit Simon in hospital, and after his recovery, they all spend the rest of their holiday together as couples. The group finally return to England in tears (although the girls aren’t). At the airport, the girls come through the same gate as the boys and meet the boy’s parents before Neil quickly runs away after spotting his girlfriend who he had cheated on with Lisa. In the final scene before the credits, a drunken Mr. Gilbert is seen riding a quad bike through the streets of Malia in his boxer shorts with a tie tied around his head in a John Rambo style.

 

Mr. Gilbert: This isn’t The Dead Poets Society and I am not that bloke on bbc2 keeps getting kids to sing in choirs. I especially don’t want to hear how well you are settling down at uni or how much growing up you have done in the past 12 months. At best I am ambivalent towards most of you, but some of you I actively dislike, for no other reason than your poor personal hygiene or your irritating personalities. I hope I have made myself clear on this point and in case any of you think I am joking, I am not. I assure you, once my legal obligation to look after you best interests is removed, I can be one truly nasty fucker. Good luck with the rest of your lives and try not to kill anyone, it reflects very badly on all of us here.

 

Jay Cartwright: Don’t you know about foreign police? They take you up a hill, beat you up and then they bum you!

Neil Sutherland: Yeah. and if they don’t kill you, you kill yourself because of the shame of you getting a boner whilst you was being bummed!

 

Neil Sutherland: I stopped believing in god when I realised it was just dog backwards.

 

Jay Cartwright: This girl’s so wet for me I can hear the waves breaking in her fanny.

 

Will McKenzie: So smelling like an industrial accident in a Lynx factory and looking like the world’s shittest boyband, we hit the town.

 

Middle-Aged Woman: [a woman who is at least in her fifties leaves the group’s hotel after sleeping with Neil]

Middle-Aged Woman: Don’t worry lads, kitty won’t bite. Not now she’s been fed.

 

[from trailer] Will McKenzie: First stop the Minoan palace in Knossos.

Jay Cartwright: We haven’t come half way round the world to look at some fucking Greek ruins.

Neil Sutherland: Yeah you can see that shit anywhere.

 

Will McKenzie: That’s it! Neil, you’re right. It may not be paradise, but it’s time we started enjoying this place for what it is.

Simon Cooper: A shithole?

Will McKenzie: Yes, but it’s our shithole! So I say, we get out there, and get royally fucked up on Jay’s dead grandad’s money!

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